Doing Things

Written by: Brandon “Monkey” Imp

Saturday…

7 am: Wake up on a leather couch in a strangers house. My neck is cramped. Sam, my CouchSurfing host, has gotten up and is in the shower. My cell phone rings, my friend Alisa. Nope, I cannot hang out today. No, do not go to Carrabba’s tonight! I won’t be working! Why? Didn’t I tell you? I’m in San Francisco.

7:30 am: Dressing for the interview. I try on two different belts and two different shirts; I stick with the original large black belt with a silver buckle and my blue button-down. Not nervous.

9 am: Board the BART at Rockridge with intent to get off at 24th Mission. Finish my lemonade from breakfast. Anticipate a 30 minute ride and a 30 minute walk to the hospital.

9:20 am: The BART ride was quick and I am 1/4 done with the walk. I slow down; my shoes have leather soles and I do not want to wear them out. Florence! What a great weekend – leather markets, relics, and David. At an intersection I look to my right. Mountains! I see mountains! They HAVE mountains! I call my sister.

9:30 am: Arrive at the hospital. The interview is not until 10:30 – I should check out the area. Should I live next to the hospital? Why are there so many taquerias?

9:40 am: Evaluation – loud, cars, pee. Yes, need bathroom.

9:50 am: A bar. And it’s open! And people are drinking. I’m business-casual carrying a padded notebook. Let’s beeline for the bathroom.

9:55 am: My phone is not going to last the weekend. WOW I need to shave. How did I not notice that?

10:05 am: Walgreen’s bathroom, let in by security. Shave shave shave AHHHH THREADS. Ask pharmacist for scissors. No threads how do I look why am I nervous this will be fun is that a crumb or a pimple?

10:15 am: Group interview – the other applicants are already sitting and waiting! Did I miss something? Knowledge bank – show up 10-15 minutes before interview, no more no less. They are wrong I am right. Hmmm I am the only one not from SF State. She’s a freshman. Is 22 the new old? Did I miss something? No, I am right and they are…also right but less right for the job. Right? Right!

10:35 am: Still waiting. Is there lemon in my teeth? I brushed this morning. I have to pee again! WHERE AM I

12:30 pm: Carla? Biddie? I can’t find my host’s house so I figured I should call you. Yep, San Fran. Interview just finished! *dead line* *ring ring* Carla? Ah the downside of middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania. Well, just don’t move a centimeter while we talk! I thought you intentionally hung up on me because we haven’t spoken in months…

Monday…

11:30 pm: This rental car is hideously lime green. I hope the front door is unlocked. I want pizza. And animal crackers. And grapes. Work went well tonight! Best Monday yet at Carrabba’s – take that you worthless, energy-draining, depression-instating alternate universe known as NJ suburbia! Ha!

11:32 pm: Cat hair all over this chair. Smells like pork in here EMAIL THERE’S AN EMAIL is that sweat? My hands are clammy. Anticipation, worry, jitters…and if the answer is no? That would be shameful and debilitYES HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH pehgapoighapioghpaowiengpaowingpoawngpOWIEGNwpoiwnagpoinaewpgoINPEOINAWPOINipmaewogimag

I am moving to San Francisco in a few weeks. My internship at the San Francisco General Hospital’s Emergency Department starts in mid-November. Now, to call those recruiters for a job…